The above statement is what has me blogging with passion this morning, and was said by an NCO here at Fort Bliss. I know the name of the man who said it, which I will not post because that is not my style, and I also know he was not joking with the comment.
Currently, Hubs is on an Army Physical Profile, profiles say what a Soldier can and cannot do for a given amount of time, stating that he cannot drive or do much of anything actually. His profile is the equivilent of a “Dead Mans Profile”, he cannot life more than 30 pounds – walk more than 100 yards – drive – participate in any Physical Fitness Test in any capacity etc. until he gets a few injuries checked out by a doctor. With these restrictions, I have been getting up at 0400, so that I am awake enough to drive Hubs to work each morning, and picking him up each evening.
When it comes to Hubs’ appointments, I will be figuring out a way to be there to take him to and from these, we are still working out a system, which is exactly what Hubs was talking to a fellow Soldier when the Sergeant offered his opinion on how this could work. “Just tell your wife to sit in the parking lot all day, and take you to and from appointments when she is needed.” If this had been said by someone who knows us as a couple, or knows me at all, I probably would have laughed it off, or said some off handed comment back to his wife in a joking way and both of us would have laughed, but this person does not know Hubs well nor has he ever met me. He is not even in Hubs’ Battalion!
Hubs tried to laugh it off, and joked asking if he (other Soldier) had ever met/heard about me before, and the other Soldier said something along the lines of – wives don’t have anything better to do. (Hubs did not give me an exact quote on this, just an “about”). This whole attitude makes me angry. The idea that military spouses have nothing better to do all day than sit in a parking lot and wait, not to mention that its summer and freaking hot here and there is NO SHADE! It’s an attitude that wives are unimportant that seems to run rampant amount a lot of Soldiers, many of which would be completely lost without their wives, and so I am composing a letter to this NCO and others who share his point of view.
I lost respect for this Soldier today, and it makes it harder to not put all NCO’s into a stereotype like this one in particular. I know there are some amazing soldiers in the US Army, great leaders, and hilarious comedian types as well, and I have been lucky enough to know some very well, and today I am glad there is one I do not know.
Dear SSG @$*#&,
I would like to thank you for sharing your unnecessary opinion on how I should spend the entire day, baking in the sun in our car waiting around to take my husband to and from appointments at any given time. I did not know that my day was open and full of nothingness and that this idea would fill it with joy and a purpose. Since you seem to think that all spouses sit at home all day, doing nothing and have nothing better to do than sit in a parking lot all day, I would like to ask your wife if she knows your opinion.
It is nice to know that you assume spouses do not work, since you have no idea if I work outside/inside our home (which I do), or volunteer (which I have put in over 300 hours this year already), or take care of children (since you do not know if we have any or not, because if we did they would be sitting in the car with me all day), or have appointments and obligations of my own as well.
Maybe instead of sitting in my car, in the parking lot, I could just come take over your office/computer instead? It’s got air conditioning, and internet access, I could do some work from there, maybe bring a couple of small children alone with me – heck I can always borrow a few dozen if I need to, along with my bulletin boards/check lists/ filing that needs to be done, bills that need to get paid etc, blogging schedule, camera for photos of product, oh and all the products as well (I might need to borrow a mini-van as well). How about also bringing a garage in so our car can get a tune-up/oil change while I sit there doing all this “nothingness”, and then a laundromat also so Hubs uniforms are clean. But then who is going to do the grocery shopping, post office runs, etc? Because since Hubs and I have not been getting home since after 7 this week and I still have to make dinner and pack a lunch for the next day/wash todays lunch stuff since we do not have extra lunch boxes, and we are up again at 0400 there is not time. Unless I cut out sleeping.
I am guessing this plan would not work for you, so instead, I will go back to the drawing board and figure out what works for Hubs and myself, without asking for nor wanting your opinion on the subject.
~A well caffeinated army wife
Sometimes things said, are just so absurd that I just have to vent and then laugh, because if I think too long about them they would make me loose my mind, so for the rest of the day/week etc I will giggle about this statement and move on.