Thankfulness 2013: Day 16 & 17 Communication #ThirtyDaysofThanks

Thankfulness 2013: Day 16 & 17 Communication #ThirtyDaysofThanks

     I am thankful for the ability to really talk to Hubs.  

     Not just the everyday conversations about how our days were, although I do appreciate them, but the not so “pretty” ones.  The moments when things that have been left unsaid all come boiling up to the surface, whether it is about us or life or anything really, and all those thoughts and emotions just come out all at the same time.  

     Why is this so special to me?  Well I think we should all appreciate these but for me, 1) because I can be a very ….VERY emotional person, and I tend to wear those emotions close to the surface.  2) Hubs is the anti-emotion person.  Give that man a toddler/puppy/cartoon and you will see him laugh and smile but 99% of the rest of the time he has 1 single expression.  It’s just who he is, sometimes it infuriates me because I yell – his face does not change, I cry – no change, I get super excited about something silly – yep still the same look on Hubs’ face.  
     Over the years I have learned there is more going on in Hubs’ head than one emotion, but he just does not show them.  Luckily for me, he does not expect or want me to be that way.  (Which is good, cause I do not think I am even capable of that) I can yell, or cry, burst out with an entire giggle episode and he may never join me in the expression but he does understand.  For example:

     We had a moment this weekend, last night actually, where again my emotions came bubbling over.  The events that set in motion my emotional outburst, had nothing to do with us and took place over 1800 miles away.  It did not affect us in any way/shape/form, but my brain got to thinking and little things that I had brushed aside, or hidden without dealing with them all came together with our relationship being the center point and a single question;
Do you even want to be here? 

     Yep, I asked Hubs that question.  It was not a question I asked lightly, or without considering the resulting answers.  In fact, I would probably caution most couples to NOT ask this question, depending on your moods and personalities but I did it.  I needed to know because I know he is not going anywhere, (Ask me about our thoughts on Divorce another day) but not leaving and WANTING to be somewhere are 2 very different things.  

Side note:  I did not ask him in anger

     What transpired from that question was a 3 hour conversation, an equally divided conversation.  Where both of us just sat down and talked.  More talking that the two of us have done together, in a while… a long while.  It was long over due.  I was a blubbering basket-case, Hubs was calm and receptive.  I cried, he talked. I talked, he listened. 

     There was no yelling, totally surprised myself there, just good honest conversation.  We were both feeling similar things about where our relationship was, yet both were unwilling or unable to start the conversation until this weekend.   Until, in the middle of an ordinary weekend I asked a question that many couples never ask, ever.  

     We have hard conversations, we have fun ones too and the every day talks that keep us close but I am so thankful for being able to be honest and real with my husband.  I can lay all my insecurities out there and he does not judge or feel accused.  

We can just be real with one another.